Busy Day

Jan. 21st, 2010 09:03 pm
rivkasmom: (Flying Ladybug)
This morning, Daisy pooped on the rug by the front door. Rivka's carpool was early, and as she was running to get her shoes she stepped in it, so she had to change her tights, making everyone in the car wait.

I spent three hours at the doctor's office today. My doc is switching me from Depakote to Lamictal, and raising my Zoloft to 200mg, and tapering off my Buspar. I'm VERY nervous about Lamictal. Everyone tells me that it's a miracle drug, and that I should at least try it. There's just this one, very rare side effect - every once in a while someone breaks out in an allergic rash with a 35% fatality rate. Great, just great. I swear, I get so much as a mosquito bite that looks funny, and I'm running straight to the emergency room. No joke.

The next hour I spent in the financial aid office filling out paperwork. I can finally get my teeth cleaned, YAY! Now, for the great hunt for a doctor in the system that does general sedation. I may have to pay for that out of pocket, maybe not, but it's a necessity. The following hour was spent waiting for my prescriptions to be filled, and then waiting for my ride home. It's a good thing I always carry a good book with me.

While I was at the clinic, I left a message for Rivka's doctor to call me about evaluation and IEP. We'll see what she says.

Rivka came home from school, and we read and did homework together for an hour. There was much whining, but I pushed right through it. In the end, I think Rivka was a bit relieved that I didn't cave to her tantrums. She seemed much happier, although she still complained about having a headache.

I have a partial solution of her exercise problems. I just got a new bed, so I put the old mattress on the floor in my bedroom. I let Rivka jump on it, and she has to count to 100 while she does it. Since she's having trouble with counting too, this is great! I keep her company and help her when she gets stuck on what number comes next. She counted to 100 twice tonight! Two of the girls in her class go swimming on Wednesdays, so I'm going to try to get Rivka signed up and see if she can carpool with the others. I've been meaning to get her swim lessons anyway, and she really wants to do it. I don't think she can handle organized team sports right now.

As I tucked Rivka into bed, I asked her if she was worried about anything. She said that she was worried about reading. I said "Well, you know you're a smart girl, right? You're not stupid." and say said "I know that, but my brain keeps telling me that I AM." I just wanted to cry. I told her that some people have different ways of learning things, and we just need to figure out what kind of ways will work best for her. I promised her that I'd be there to help every step of the way, and that it would get better (bli neder, with G-d's help).
rivkasmom: (Rose in the Rain)
Please, if you are posting about killing yourself - don't do it.

I know you're sad, and frustrated, and lonely and in pain. I really do.

What sucks is that I don't have the wise words, or even the energy to talk y'all down from the ledge, so that just means that I go to bed tonight and wonder which of my friends will be dead in the morning.

I don't want to have to do a roll call and a head count, holding my breath until I'm sure that all of you are safe and sound. Could you, just for me, hold on for one more day? And maybe one more day after that? I promise I'll be here for you, if you can be here for yourself.

January 2012



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